(via findinghealth)
Why am I always a hot mess when I run into people?!?!
Elle, 24, 5'10''
HW:174 SW:167.5 GW1:150 GW2:135 UGW:TBD
SW as of 1/1/11
*PIctures aren't mine, unless otherwise stated*
*PIctures aren't mine, unless otherwise stated*
Created by MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods
- Make 5 goals - 5 things you want to do by the end of the month. Be reasonable with them and keep the list somewhere you’ll remember. Chances are you won’t lose 20 lbs by the end of the month, so skip it as a goal. Instead focus your goals around getting more active and healthy. Everyday try to make one better choice like taking the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator or having an apply for snack even though you’re dying to have the slice of pie. All these little changes will really add up. If you don’t already have an exercise you do regularly…
- Try out a new exercise - Switching up your exercise routine is important, especially if you’re hitting a plateau. Curious about an exercise you’ve been eyeing for awhile? YouTube that shit. Read about it on Google. DO IT. Why not? Try to exercise at least 2-3 days a week this month.
- Eat fruit! - Only the most delicious fruits are in season in June. Strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, watermelon, rhubarb, cherries and so much more! Not only is fruit good for you, but in season you can find some great deals on it! Check out your local farmer’s market for freshly grown produce at great prices.
- GET OUTSIDE!! - IT’S JUNE, what could you possibly doing inside?! (besides Tumblr;) ) Swim, hike, bike, walk, skip. Do it all. Play basketball at that old court down the road, ride your bike to work. The sun is shining and there is no better time to get active and have fun.
Something has got to change.
I am drowning.
When I’m not at work, I’m in my room. Hiding. How can I face the world when I can’t even face myself? The fat that has piled up around my waist and stomach, the bright red, painful zits that have started to make a home on my face, and the KP that has spread onto my entire body, it’s all too much.
Earlier, I had a sudden fit of anger and started throwing stuff around my room. I don’t even know why. Last week, I had a break down while shopping. The idea of buying more clothes for this body made me so upset. Even now, i can feel the waistband of my XL running shorts pressing into my fat and it’s making me want to tear my skin apart.
The few people in my life would be shocked to hear what I’m saying. These feelings are hidden behind layers of sarcasm and false smiles. Even though there have been attempts to share, it falls on deaf ears.
I have no support from my parents. No matter what I do, according to my mom, I’m not trying hard enough to lose weight. My dad just pretends he has no idea what’s going on. While driving in a parking lot this afternoon, my mom saw a really obese person. She then turned to me and said, “I would never buy food again if it meant you never getting that big.” When I try to call her out on her crap, I get yelled at for being spoiled, too sensitive, and missing the point.
I don’t know what to do anymore. There is nowhere for me to turn. All i want is to lose some weight, be happy and be healthy. The years of struggling have only caused my self hatred to grow. I’m toxic. I need help.
